Wednesday, July 16, 2008

We're running in circles.

I'm really starting to feel like my life is one never ending cycle. People coming and going, trends circling back around, wash, rinse and repeat. I don't think that i've ever really been able to get over anything ever, because for some reason it won't escape me. Every day i see someone whom i've had some sort of encounter with, that won't let me get away, or forget about them. It's almost as if those around me are so co dependent that i just can't shake them.
I'm not going to lie, one or two of them are certainly situations i look at as missed opportunities or second chances i would like to take, but for the most part i would just like to be able to move on.
i mean fuck, how are you going to not talk to someone forever and then pop back into their life, and pretend like things are totally ok, and nothing changed. Or for another example, how are you gonna tell someone you need them in your life so badly, and then do something behind their back, hoping they don't notice, or just not care if they find out?
What the fuck am I doing with myself? I have a hard enough time figuring that out without all of these other distractions throwing a wrench in the gears.
I wish i could just get away and spend time with a second chance, or a missed opportunity, and hope that it gets my head straight. Honestly right now, i don't think it would, but then again, my life has been complete chaos for so long, I don't even know what normal is anymore. Fuck, I'm a mess, and I don't even know what to do about it or how to fix it.
Haha, i hope someone random comes to this entry and makes sense of it. if you can, please let me know, cause I sure as shit can't figure it out.

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