Wow, what an awful, stressful drive. We left the venue and it was snowing lightly until we hit the city limits of Montreal. Then it was like a fucking blizzard. I went up front to smoke, and chat w/ the bus driver, and it was gnarly. I could feel the tires of the bus sliding. It was pretty nerve wracking. We didn't drink too much because of the border crossing. We actually got through real quick, because the weather was shitty, and the guards didnt feel like searching our shit. We also look like we're not total shitbags, either, so that probably helps. We got through, and the roads were straight up covered in snow. like 6 inches of snow. It sucked.
I sat up with Tim and Tom for a while, cause we were all freaked out by the shit on the roads. Eventually, i tried to go to sleep, and got to bed around 6 or 7 am. When we woke up in New Haven, it was like 50 degrees! I was stoked, it was like summertime. We loaded in, and while hanging around outside with Steve, i got in the best "Eww Yo!" of the tour. 2 girls, who were fairly attractive, walked by in sweatpants, and out came the "Eww Yo!", loud as shit. Steve busted out laughing, equally as loud. It was pretty enjoyable. We all got a good laugh out of it. When the dudes were soundchecking, i did all my merch work,so i was done waaaaay early today. I was stoked. Me and Mo did some dumb moshing while the dudes were practicing some new songs. Andrew came down and joined us for our little homosexual dance party.
After soundcheck, and our little jazzercise session, me and Mo went to get some lunch, and got a bomb ass pizza from the shop next door. We also got a bunch of fried food as an appetizer. Truly a last day of tour feast. After gorging ourselves we went back to the bus, to chill, since the show didnt start for another few hours. This turned into walking around and wasting money. I bought a new hat, some socks and underwear, since i needed some, and wasn't doing laundry til i got home.
The show was cool. Noelle and Alix came out, and it was rad to see them and hang out for a while. Alix took a bunch of sweet pictures, which i'll post in the next entry. We hung out, had drinks, and Elle brought me some merch helpers. They drastically increased my PMA, for sure.
When the show was done, we loaded up the trailer for the last time, and me and Tom were the only ones on the bus, heading to jersey, seeing as how everyone else went home with their significant others. We had a good long brodown. I was stoked, me and him got a lot closer on this tour. I love that guy. we drank some beers and went to bed. Tour, officially over.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
So close, and so far.
The last day in canada is finally upon us. The vast amount of country that we've covered over the last two weeks, has been snow covered, and cold. Today was no exception. It was overcast, snowy, and overall just a nasty day. The venue looks like it's from the land that time forgot. An old school gymnasium type of setting. The dressing room looks like an old high school locker room. It was like stepping into gym class in 1976. They had a room there, that was just dedicated to fencing. It was pretty weird. We were shooting pictures in there of all of us stabbing each other in the mask with swords. Totally not weird at all, right? All in all, it was pretty fun.
The show was on the hockey rink of the place, of course. I'm convinced i'll just get to go to hockey rinks here, without seeing any hockey get played. They just covered the floor with rubber, which let me tell you, did absolutely nothing to insulate anything about it. My feet were fucking freezing all night long. It was fucking terrible. I wore 3 pairs of socks. Three!!! The whole place was probably about 50 degrees, until kids started filling the place up. They situated me next to the stage, which is great, cause it was gonna be loud as fuck. It was also primarily french speaking kids,and my french fucking sucks. Unless it's french kissing, then i'm the fucking best, but that's a story for another time. It took me forever to wait on getting counted in and what not, so my time to go adventure was pretty non existant, today. I just did some emails, posted a blog, and filled out paperwork for my taxes and stuff. Nothing exciting at all.
The plus side was the my friend Judy was coming out. I missed her when her and her boyfriend were in Baltimore over the summer. They were in town for a wedding, but i was away with the Oranges. Unfortunately, she was taking exams and wouldn't get to the show until 10 or so, when it was pretty much gonna be over. However, a gunman apparently started shooting up the school, which we were also on the campus of. She got out of her last exam, and was able to show up early. I was glad she was safe, and stoked we could hang out. On the other hand, the thought of a gunman wandering the University of Montreal was an interesting thought. Especially on a night where there was a 5000 person, sold out show in their Hockey Arena/Gymnasium time travel portal.
We hung during the show and it was fun. As has been par for the course, Geoff was about to say his usual bit about me, but decided to bring Sage up for a song, and had him do the honors since it was the last day we had with Sage, and the Rise Againsts. Instead of something funny, he went straight for the jugular, haha. He told everyone i had a mild case of herpes, a European Vacation reference. I was stoked, laughed, and did not expect the harassment that i got from the kids because of it. It was funny when i was half drunk screaming, "Jesus Christ! I don't have herpes" to a bunch of french Canucks. I'm pretty sure they didnt understand anything, maybe except the word herpes. *For the record, i do not have herpes. Sayin.
After the show i packed up my stuff, and stuffed it into the back of the trailer. Me and Judy hopped into a cab, and headed straight to Lafleur's. One of my favorite spots in Montreal, that isnt a bar. Tofu dogs and Poutine. It was awesome,and fucking tasty. It was rad to hang with her and catch up. I hadn't seen her in a long time,even though we talk fairly often, it was nice to do it in person for a change. I got back to the bus, and we said goodbyes to everyone, and headed for the border. Next stop, USA!!!
The show was on the hockey rink of the place, of course. I'm convinced i'll just get to go to hockey rinks here, without seeing any hockey get played. They just covered the floor with rubber, which let me tell you, did absolutely nothing to insulate anything about it. My feet were fucking freezing all night long. It was fucking terrible. I wore 3 pairs of socks. Three!!! The whole place was probably about 50 degrees, until kids started filling the place up. They situated me next to the stage, which is great, cause it was gonna be loud as fuck. It was also primarily french speaking kids,and my french fucking sucks. Unless it's french kissing, then i'm the fucking best, but that's a story for another time. It took me forever to wait on getting counted in and what not, so my time to go adventure was pretty non existant, today. I just did some emails, posted a blog, and filled out paperwork for my taxes and stuff. Nothing exciting at all.
The plus side was the my friend Judy was coming out. I missed her when her and her boyfriend were in Baltimore over the summer. They were in town for a wedding, but i was away with the Oranges. Unfortunately, she was taking exams and wouldn't get to the show until 10 or so, when it was pretty much gonna be over. However, a gunman apparently started shooting up the school, which we were also on the campus of. She got out of her last exam, and was able to show up early. I was glad she was safe, and stoked we could hang out. On the other hand, the thought of a gunman wandering the University of Montreal was an interesting thought. Especially on a night where there was a 5000 person, sold out show in their Hockey Arena/Gymnasium time travel portal.
We hung during the show and it was fun. As has been par for the course, Geoff was about to say his usual bit about me, but decided to bring Sage up for a song, and had him do the honors since it was the last day we had with Sage, and the Rise Againsts. Instead of something funny, he went straight for the jugular, haha. He told everyone i had a mild case of herpes, a European Vacation reference. I was stoked, laughed, and did not expect the harassment that i got from the kids because of it. It was funny when i was half drunk screaming, "Jesus Christ! I don't have herpes" to a bunch of french Canucks. I'm pretty sure they didnt understand anything, maybe except the word herpes. *For the record, i do not have herpes. Sayin.
After the show i packed up my stuff, and stuffed it into the back of the trailer. Me and Judy hopped into a cab, and headed straight to Lafleur's. One of my favorite spots in Montreal, that isnt a bar. Tofu dogs and Poutine. It was awesome,and fucking tasty. It was rad to hang with her and catch up. I hadn't seen her in a long time,even though we talk fairly often, it was nice to do it in person for a change. I got back to the bus, and we said goodbyes to everyone, and headed for the border. Next stop, USA!!!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Ottawa, Ontario
We're getting towards the end now, only a few days of tour left.
Today, we were in Ottawa. Bone chilling cold. I mean, headache inducing cold, kind of like one or two of the other spots we've been to. it's also go about a good 2 feet of snow, just hangin out. Me and tucker had to walk like 2 blocks just to go get smokes, and froze our fucking asses off. When we got back, we found out it was like 5 degrees. Nice.
Most of my day was spent just hanging out in the visiting locker room of the hockey arena, aka the dressing room. Sage was in the trainers room. It was so cold, i didnt really want to leave. I went to get a coke at one point, and while i was gone, a table, 2 couches, and an easy chair arrived in our dressing room. It made it a little more comfortable. Of course it was almost at the point where i didn't get to use em much, but it was whatever.
During every show, Geoff usually says something to the crowd about me, making fun of me. Today was no exception. He had said it was my birthday, amongst other things. Today he kicked it up a notch and said that my gf/fiancee' dumped me over the phone this morning. He also said people should come comfort me. This resulted in me having to lie, as well as get hugs from people. By the end of the night dudes were yelling "Fuck that bitch", and "Your ex is a fucking whore!". It reminded me of being in Hampden, as well as made me stoked that people would get behind me on that, haha.
After the show, i packed up super quick and a bunch of us went out to this old man bar down the street.
When me, Barnesy, Tucker, Steve, Tom, Buck, and Alex got down there, there was no one in the bar. We ripped a bunch of shots and pounded beers. Buck conned some girl into making out with him within minutes of being in the building. It was creepy, yet somehow funny. There was a woman there named Mercedes, too. She took a liking to me, Tucker, and Tom. She got us shots, and definitely seemed like she was trying to get weird. Unfortunately for her, we weren't. We just sat there, got hammered, and left in time for bus call.
When we got on the bus, I sat up, for a bit, then me and Tom started wrestling with each other, and wound up punching the shit out of eachother in the process. I'm pretty sure that Tom punched Tucker in the balls.
After taking a beating, i just went to bed. I'm pretty sure i sat up texting JessiAnne and Chase for awhile. PMA is high.
Today, we were in Ottawa. Bone chilling cold. I mean, headache inducing cold, kind of like one or two of the other spots we've been to. it's also go about a good 2 feet of snow, just hangin out. Me and tucker had to walk like 2 blocks just to go get smokes, and froze our fucking asses off. When we got back, we found out it was like 5 degrees. Nice.
Most of my day was spent just hanging out in the visiting locker room of the hockey arena, aka the dressing room. Sage was in the trainers room. It was so cold, i didnt really want to leave. I went to get a coke at one point, and while i was gone, a table, 2 couches, and an easy chair arrived in our dressing room. It made it a little more comfortable. Of course it was almost at the point where i didn't get to use em much, but it was whatever.
During every show, Geoff usually says something to the crowd about me, making fun of me. Today was no exception. He had said it was my birthday, amongst other things. Today he kicked it up a notch and said that my gf/fiancee' dumped me over the phone this morning. He also said people should come comfort me. This resulted in me having to lie, as well as get hugs from people. By the end of the night dudes were yelling "Fuck that bitch", and "Your ex is a fucking whore!". It reminded me of being in Hampden, as well as made me stoked that people would get behind me on that, haha.
After the show, i packed up super quick and a bunch of us went out to this old man bar down the street.
When me, Barnesy, Tucker, Steve, Tom, Buck, and Alex got down there, there was no one in the bar. We ripped a bunch of shots and pounded beers. Buck conned some girl into making out with him within minutes of being in the building. It was creepy, yet somehow funny. There was a woman there named Mercedes, too. She took a liking to me, Tucker, and Tom. She got us shots, and definitely seemed like she was trying to get weird. Unfortunately for her, we weren't. We just sat there, got hammered, and left in time for bus call.
When we got on the bus, I sat up, for a bit, then me and Tom started wrestling with each other, and wound up punching the shit out of eachother in the process. I'm pretty sure that Tom punched Tucker in the balls.
After taking a beating, i just went to bed. I'm pretty sure i sat up texting JessiAnne and Chase for awhile. PMA is high.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Fucking Hamilton, ON!!!
Hamilton, ON
Fuck yeah, Hamilton. Home of Haymaker. I expected complete stupidity and insanity from these people. I also expected to potentially have the opportunity to acquire a haymaker shirt via trade from someone. My buddy Caleb from Circle Takes The Square, and his girlfriend Shannon came to the show. 2 of my favorite people in the world. Total sweethearts. They came to rage too, Caleb had been drinking since like 2 pm.
Nothing insane happened during the day other than the fact that our fucking bus almost caught on fire. Some hose came off on the generator at some point. There was gnarly smoke coming out of the fucking thing. Everyone was freaking out. It figured that something happened, cause the luck we've been having with buses on this tour was dogshit. I got all my shit done early for once today. After the shit that happened in London the night before i wasn't about to take any chances with numbers getting fucked up, so I allowed some time for errors. I was glad this didnt happen and I had a lot of fuck off time.
Unfortunately i couldnt find anything good to do, so i sat in the dressing room trying to find the internet somewhere. No dice. I chain smoked my afternoon away and that was about it. The show was relatively uneventful, until Caleb and Shannon swung by. I had no clue they were even coming. I was pumped, cause they were my raging buddies on the tour we did with them last year. There weren't any incidents other than the racism fight, which i couldnt get a grasp on. I just know i saw some kid punching another kid and it was apperently over some racist shit. No clue, but i'm pretty impressed by the amount of fights i've seen on this tour.
After I loaded out, i took a quick shower, and went back to the bus. Andrew was drunk and wanted to go out, so we went down to the bar where Caleb and Shannon were. We met a bunch of their friends, had some drinks and just hung out and had a rad time. We also all managed to get hammered. I thought i was gonna have an oportunity to get a Haymaker shirt, but this kid wanted my Buzzcocks shirt, and that just wasn't gonna happen. We drank as late as possible, and realized our bus call was in 5 minutes.
We bolted out the door and took off down the street. We almost missed bus call, Or at least Alex, Tom, and I did. It was also pouring rain on our way back, which was a bummer.
When we got back on the bus, we all still wanted to drink. I found a Dos Equis buried in our ice chest. I have no idea where it came from, but at this point I didnt care. A few nights before, we were given a gift by the promoter. It was a bottle of "good" scotch. Bullshit. It tased like Bacon Whiskey. Tucker apparently thought so, cause he took a shot of it, and threw up in a solo cup. then he booted on the bus a couple times. He was a trooper though. I was a good buddy, and helped him out. After that, i stayed up texting JessiAnne til i fell asleep. Good day, for sure.
Fuck yeah, Hamilton. Home of Haymaker. I expected complete stupidity and insanity from these people. I also expected to potentially have the opportunity to acquire a haymaker shirt via trade from someone. My buddy Caleb from Circle Takes The Square, and his girlfriend Shannon came to the show. 2 of my favorite people in the world. Total sweethearts. They came to rage too, Caleb had been drinking since like 2 pm.
Nothing insane happened during the day other than the fact that our fucking bus almost caught on fire. Some hose came off on the generator at some point. There was gnarly smoke coming out of the fucking thing. Everyone was freaking out. It figured that something happened, cause the luck we've been having with buses on this tour was dogshit. I got all my shit done early for once today. After the shit that happened in London the night before i wasn't about to take any chances with numbers getting fucked up, so I allowed some time for errors. I was glad this didnt happen and I had a lot of fuck off time.
Unfortunately i couldnt find anything good to do, so i sat in the dressing room trying to find the internet somewhere. No dice. I chain smoked my afternoon away and that was about it. The show was relatively uneventful, until Caleb and Shannon swung by. I had no clue they were even coming. I was pumped, cause they were my raging buddies on the tour we did with them last year. There weren't any incidents other than the racism fight, which i couldnt get a grasp on. I just know i saw some kid punching another kid and it was apperently over some racist shit. No clue, but i'm pretty impressed by the amount of fights i've seen on this tour.
After I loaded out, i took a quick shower, and went back to the bus. Andrew was drunk and wanted to go out, so we went down to the bar where Caleb and Shannon were. We met a bunch of their friends, had some drinks and just hung out and had a rad time. We also all managed to get hammered. I thought i was gonna have an oportunity to get a Haymaker shirt, but this kid wanted my Buzzcocks shirt, and that just wasn't gonna happen. We drank as late as possible, and realized our bus call was in 5 minutes.
We bolted out the door and took off down the street. We almost missed bus call, Or at least Alex, Tom, and I did. It was also pouring rain on our way back, which was a bummer.
When we got back on the bus, we all still wanted to drink. I found a Dos Equis buried in our ice chest. I have no idea where it came from, but at this point I didnt care. A few nights before, we were given a gift by the promoter. It was a bottle of "good" scotch. Bullshit. It tased like Bacon Whiskey. Tucker apparently thought so, cause he took a shot of it, and threw up in a solo cup. then he booted on the bus a couple times. He was a trooper though. I was a good buddy, and helped him out. After that, i stayed up texting JessiAnne til i fell asleep. Good day, for sure.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
London Calling
After the 2 days off, i was pretty stoked to go back to work. Well, not today, cause it was another Venue sell. That meant not doing any work all day. I kinda putzed around all day, because i wasn't feeling well, and just felt like chilling. I did my count in and stuff, and just relaxed in the dressing room. Dinner was fucking epic, though. They had chocolate bread pudding for dessert. It was fucking incredible. Mercedes came and hung out at the show for awhile. She brought her sister, and her friend Ivy, which was cool. I hadn't seen Morgan in a really long time, so it was cool she came out. I guess Mercedes and Alex had some sort of issue cause she wound up leaving early, which was a bummer, cause i felt like i didnt get to kick it with her too much. When the show was over, it took me fucking forever to settle. The dudes who counted me in were like fucking beavis and butthead, total idiots. The one dude looked like the godfather of Hair Metal. Total meth tooth lookin dude. I mean like he had baked beans instead of teeth, gross. I also don't think that the guy was capable of constructing a sentence more than 6 syllables long. The other kid was just a total fucking mouthbreather. Either way, they fucked up counting me out. Twice. I settled, and had loaded half of my shit out. At this point the weather changed from snow to freezing rain and back to snow, so loading down icy steps was kickass. Then having to go back in and doing it all over again made it even better. I flipped out on the dude who was the venue's rep, and he blamed it on his computer. He didnt appreciate it when i told him it was the person using it, not the computer's fault. After flipping my shit and packing the trailer, i thought i'd wind up going out, but instead i just hung out with Andrew, Mo, and Geoff on the bus. That was a little more fun. Alex wound up missing bus call and got grease spotted.
Millenium Drive. Part Deux.
After getting back to the bus after out Casino/Stripclub experience, we just crashed out. I woke up the next day and we were still going across the frozen tundra, zig zagging through mountains, and darting around lakes. We unfortunately had to bid farewell to our bus driver, Jerry, today. He was kickass, and got the Strongman award for the tour for handling that shitty drive. We switched over to our new driver, Scott, in London. Nothing too crazy happened on the drive. It was pretty crazy how fast people go on a 2 lane road though. Big rigs were fucking flying past us going the other way, on some wicked sketchy roads. We just did our best to not pay attention and sleep our way through it. I can't remember if it was this day or the day before that we watched European Vacation. I know it was one of the two. I'm sure it was irritating with me and Alex reciting the entire movie start to finish. When we got in to London, we got our hotel room,and tried to figure out what to do for the night. Alex's ex, and my friend, Mercedes lived there,so we decided to meet up with her later on. Since we hadn't spent enough time together over the previous 48 hours, we decided to go out to dinner at this Italian place next to the hotel. Holy shit was it incredible. i had Mushroom Risotto, and it was fucking next level. Andrew got the Gnocchi. We split both of them, and it was awesome. We also drank about 5 bottles of wine at dinner. it made going back into the cold weather not as bad, since we were a little warmer. Mercedes convinced us to go to 80's night with her. It was deece, lots of knuckleheads there, but it was fun. I knocked back a few, and just kicked it with Mercedes, and acted like dickheads with the dudes while they were there hanging out. afterwards, we went back to the bus, and slept. it was real exciting.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Millenium Drive.
So after 2 days in Winnipeg, the shit part of the tour hit. A 2 day, 1400 mile drive. Across the snowy plains of Central Canada. Not awesome. The roads were shitty, our bus was cold, and it was 9 dudes primed for cabin fever. The only upside was that we were able to smoke on the bus, and our driver, Jerry was the fucking man.
I missed my cousin's wedding in Florida, which was a total bummer, but i had a bunch of updates from my mom throughout the early part of the first day. I hope it was awesome for him, i was pretty bummed i couldn't be there. I was bummed to not be in Florida in general.
We did a lot of movie watching,and dick and fart joke telling the first night, while we hauled ass to our mid point, Sault St. Marie. When we got there, of course, it was cold and snowy, as was par for the course at this point. A bunch of us went to a Bar/Strip Club called Studio 10. The upstairs of the place was a "Hotel". I call it a "Brothel". Either way, it was like a normal bar, but with naked ladies. Some of the dudes got dances, i just hung and drank. At least until last call when we saw a sweet fight. Some customer touched a stripper in her bathing suit area. This broad did not need an adult, because she hit him, then straight up knocked out his friend. The fight kept going because the dancer and her steakhead friends kept coming back in the bar, and fighting more. the security was terrible in this place, but it was apparently also a Hell's Angels bar. After escaping the wrath of security, we went to a Casino, where i lost 15 bucks, and at a massive omelet. We returned to the bus where i promptly passed out, lamenting the next 12 hours ahead of us when we woke up.
More on day 2 of the drive soon. I have to go do merch dude work.
I missed my cousin's wedding in Florida, which was a total bummer, but i had a bunch of updates from my mom throughout the early part of the first day. I hope it was awesome for him, i was pretty bummed i couldn't be there. I was bummed to not be in Florida in general.
We did a lot of movie watching,and dick and fart joke telling the first night, while we hauled ass to our mid point, Sault St. Marie. When we got there, of course, it was cold and snowy, as was par for the course at this point. A bunch of us went to a Bar/Strip Club called Studio 10. The upstairs of the place was a "Hotel". I call it a "Brothel". Either way, it was like a normal bar, but with naked ladies. Some of the dudes got dances, i just hung and drank. At least until last call when we saw a sweet fight. Some customer touched a stripper in her bathing suit area. This broad did not need an adult, because she hit him, then straight up knocked out his friend. The fight kept going because the dancer and her steakhead friends kept coming back in the bar, and fighting more. the security was terrible in this place, but it was apparently also a Hell's Angels bar. After escaping the wrath of security, we went to a Casino, where i lost 15 bucks, and at a massive omelet. We returned to the bus where i promptly passed out, lamenting the next 12 hours ahead of us when we woke up.
More on day 2 of the drive soon. I have to go do merch dude work.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Day off/ Winnipeg
Day off.
+bro time on the bus
+mad booze drank on the bus
+band dinner
+awesome hangs with Jessi Anne
Winnipeg.
+Venue sell
+hung out w/ J.A. 2 days in a row!!!
+excellent catering (brussel sprouts!!!)
+best gifts i've gotten in a while
this was my favorite 2 days in a long time. i am stoked on life. it's a shame we left to drive 2700 miles after the show. if i'd have had the cash, i'd have flown to london. for real. shit, yo. next update tomm. i'm almost caught up. there will be a picture entry at the end of tour, promise.
+bro time on the bus
+mad booze drank on the bus
+band dinner
+awesome hangs with Jessi Anne
Winnipeg.
+Venue sell
+hung out w/ J.A. 2 days in a row!!!
+excellent catering (brussel sprouts!!!)
+best gifts i've gotten in a while
this was my favorite 2 days in a long time. i am stoked on life. it's a shame we left to drive 2700 miles after the show. if i'd have had the cash, i'd have flown to london. for real. shit, yo. next update tomm. i'm almost caught up. there will be a picture entry at the end of tour, promise.
Edmonton.
Edmonton was...
-fucking insanely freezing.
-the coldest date yet.
-the purveyor of world's worst burrito
-home of the nicest bank teller
-also home to a sweet girl named lauren.
edmonton is the home of the oilers. it is also fuuuuuuucking cold. nothing incredibly exciting happened here, except for awesome catering and a 2 mile walk to get champagne and guinness. lauren was real nice, but would have been nicer if she'd driven me and alex to see the northern lights after the show. I lost my sunglasses because andrew wore them, and i left them in the dressing room. i lied and said it was my birthday today. i made 120 bucks. i was stoked. still am. the drummer for rise against might as well be John C. Reilly, because he looks just like him, and acts the same. Yeah, i said it. Great dude. Overall, tour is rad, and i'm stoked for tomorrow's day off.
*- his entry was posted after the day it happened...a couple of them actually.
-fucking insanely freezing.
-the coldest date yet.
-the purveyor of world's worst burrito
-home of the nicest bank teller
-also home to a sweet girl named lauren.
edmonton is the home of the oilers. it is also fuuuuuuucking cold. nothing incredibly exciting happened here, except for awesome catering and a 2 mile walk to get champagne and guinness. lauren was real nice, but would have been nicer if she'd driven me and alex to see the northern lights after the show. I lost my sunglasses because andrew wore them, and i left them in the dressing room. i lied and said it was my birthday today. i made 120 bucks. i was stoked. still am. the drummer for rise against might as well be John C. Reilly, because he looks just like him, and acts the same. Yeah, i said it. Great dude. Overall, tour is rad, and i'm stoked for tomorrow's day off.
*- his entry was posted after the day it happened...a couple of them actually.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Calgary.
Today was the first day that it felt bitterly cold. Me and Mo took a walk to the mall, about 15 minutes long. We got there and felt frozen. There were kids working in this mall that looked like they were fucking 12, dude. No shit. I guess if you can drink at 19 you can work at 12, fuck it. Anyways, we sat around and drank coffees, and found out about the casino. We also cabbed it back to the venue because we are giant pussies. The show was fine, and there were no major issues. I was finding out at this point that Canadians truly become total dicks when they drink. There are obvious exceptions to this rule, my friends.
Sean Avery got suspended by the NHL, so i didnt bother going to the Stars/Flames game. It was pretty punk calling Elisha Cuthbert "Sloppy seconds" though.
The show was packed. There were a million kids buying Rise Against shit. Kids waited in line for over an hour. Some girl spit on their merch dude, Buck. He has shitty luck with kids. I had a dude try and fight me over 5 fucking dollars tonight too. Some people don't like to pay for anything i guess. Fuck him, at least he didnt spit on me, cause i'd have probably killed him.
When my night was over, i decided to go out since we had a late bus call. After the show i was walking around, and went to a couple bars, and the casino. I definetly got propositioned by a hooker. That hooker was definitely a dude. The chick had a dick, fo sho. That was how my night ended, getting propositioned by a dude dressed like a chick, for expensive sex. Boooooo Canada, boooo to you. JK, i love it up here.
Sean Avery got suspended by the NHL, so i didnt bother going to the Stars/Flames game. It was pretty punk calling Elisha Cuthbert "Sloppy seconds" though.
The show was packed. There were a million kids buying Rise Against shit. Kids waited in line for over an hour. Some girl spit on their merch dude, Buck. He has shitty luck with kids. I had a dude try and fight me over 5 fucking dollars tonight too. Some people don't like to pay for anything i guess. Fuck him, at least he didnt spit on me, cause i'd have probably killed him.
When my night was over, i decided to go out since we had a late bus call. After the show i was walking around, and went to a couple bars, and the casino. I definetly got propositioned by a hooker. That hooker was definitely a dude. The chick had a dick, fo sho. That was how my night ended, getting propositioned by a dude dressed like a chick, for expensive sex. Boooooo Canada, boooo to you. JK, i love it up here.
Sand in my Regina pt 2.
So nothing really amazing happened during the show. We sold some shit. I talked some shit. No one tried to make me sniff their vagina phone, so that was cool. However, I saw one of the most amazing beatings of my life. Some dude got socked for doing something un-Canadian, and got pounded for like 10 seconds. It was loud as fuck, i heard him getting hit loudly, from like 30 yards away. Real boring. I felt bad for the kid who got beat up, i wound up finding out he wasn't even the dude that should have gotten punched. After summer bummer.
Monday, December 1, 2008
It's so cold...
So here i am, in Regina, Saskatchewan. It is mind numbingly cold out today. Like 15 degrees cold.
The show last night was funny. The drinking age is 19, so obviously it was fucking amateur hour. I thought that like 5 kids were gonna vomit all over my merch. There was also the girl who held her phone in the front of her jeans, you know, in her bathing suit area. Either way, it rang, got her stoked, and then she was trying to get me to smell her phone. In front of her boyfriend, of course. Gross. There was also a ton of huge frat dudes trying to fight each other, calling each other faggots. It was nuts.
For the most part, everyone was nice, and it was chill. I wasn't too busy last night, so that was cool. We all just wound up hanging out after the show in the dressing room. The crazy meth head local dudes that we met at the bar the other night never showed, so we counted our blessings. I can only imagine how raged those guys would have been. They probably would have tried to hustle everyone with their card tricks, like they tried to do to us.
This morning i woke up after freezing my ass off all night. Got some shit at wal mart, and am now sitting here, killing time until load in. i'll have a fun story at some point i'm sure. i'll probably post again in like an hour, cause i'm fucking bored out of my mind.
The show last night was funny. The drinking age is 19, so obviously it was fucking amateur hour. I thought that like 5 kids were gonna vomit all over my merch. There was also the girl who held her phone in the front of her jeans, you know, in her bathing suit area. Either way, it rang, got her stoked, and then she was trying to get me to smell her phone. In front of her boyfriend, of course. Gross. There was also a ton of huge frat dudes trying to fight each other, calling each other faggots. It was nuts.
For the most part, everyone was nice, and it was chill. I wasn't too busy last night, so that was cool. We all just wound up hanging out after the show in the dressing room. The crazy meth head local dudes that we met at the bar the other night never showed, so we counted our blessings. I can only imagine how raged those guys would have been. They probably would have tried to hustle everyone with their card tricks, like they tried to do to us.
This morning i woke up after freezing my ass off all night. Got some shit at wal mart, and am now sitting here, killing time until load in. i'll have a fun story at some point i'm sure. i'll probably post again in like an hour, cause i'm fucking bored out of my mind.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Day 1- Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
Today was the travel day. I didn't sleep. Left Baltimore at 615, and took a train to Newark, NJ. Then took a monorail to the Newark airport. Met up with my Thursday homies, and went inside. From there, i sat forever waiting to get my boarding pass, then got on my plane to Toronto. Went through customs, and got some food. Purchased the shittiest sandwich I've eaten in a long time. I mean real bad. Not worth 7 bucks at all. Got on the plane to Saskatoon, and crashed immediately. The lack of sleep totally caught up with me. I woke up with an hour left, got a mini bottle of wine, watched Flight Of The Conchords, and chilled. Today was the first drug free day of flying i've had in a while.
After getting off the plane we got our bags and went to the Hotel. Me and Tucker are rooming together tonight. Put the two wiseasses together, I guess. We got some dinner. I ate a Bison burger, that was pretty good. The gravy fries killed it. I can't wait for poutine. Afterwards, we hung out with some locals, and got beers. We guestlited all of them for the show tomm night. They were talking about coke and meth and all kinds of wild shit. It seems like they get redneck fucked up here. Either way, we had fun. It was pretty cool. Everyone was super nice, minus the dudes who tried to fight me, Tucker and Andrew. Apparently we are fagots everywhere.
Right now, i'm drunk and typing an unexciting journal entry. Time for sleep. Peace, young niggas.
After getting off the plane we got our bags and went to the Hotel. Me and Tucker are rooming together tonight. Put the two wiseasses together, I guess. We got some dinner. I ate a Bison burger, that was pretty good. The gravy fries killed it. I can't wait for poutine. Afterwards, we hung out with some locals, and got beers. We guestlited all of them for the show tomm night. They were talking about coke and meth and all kinds of wild shit. It seems like they get redneck fucked up here. Either way, we had fun. It was pretty cool. Everyone was super nice, minus the dudes who tried to fight me, Tucker and Andrew. Apparently we are fagots everywhere.
Right now, i'm drunk and typing an unexciting journal entry. Time for sleep. Peace, young niggas.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Seasons change. See the change.
I've really been slacking on keeping my life updates on here. I know that i'm not going to remember things later, unless i reflect upon them here. I have a terrible memory, and with the lifelong case of "wet brain" that i have, it certainly won't help things.
It honestly has been a relatively eventful month, in my life. I certainly haven't had a shortage of things to do, whether i've been at work or not. I've been quite a busy bee, for the last 20 days or so.
After getting my house broken into last month, i decided to move out sooner than later, so i busted my ass to get my bills and what not paid off, so i worked pretty much non stop through the end of last month, and the beginning of this month. It helped me get straightened out, to an extent. I got moved out in the only 4 day stretch that i've had off in months. I unfortunately joined another band and had to learn songs, in that same 4 days, so that i could play a show. That little stretch has afforded me sanity, fun, minimal rest, and a seriously dinged up foot. While loading in for the show, i had a 8x10 bass cabinet fall on me and crush my foot against a stair. Needless to say, it felt fucking awesome. So now i've been limping around for a little over a week.
Moving out was fucking awesome, though, i live with 2 of my friends, in a different neighborhood, and most importantly, in a nice house.It was a pain getting moved in 2 days, but was awesome when i got it finished and over with. I was stoked, for sure. Now that i'm in here, it has made my life easier, and more fun. Living with Matt and Sean, rules. I'm siked on it, plus we all get on well with each other.
I've even had some other days off lately too, which has been pretty good. I've been to a baseball game, went to a Caps preseason game, played some shows, had some good hangouts, and generally been in a good mood. Now i'm just saving money, so I can go see V and my SF crew, and go to my cousin's wedding in Dec. Those will be 2 fun vacations, for sure. I'm excited to see V, cause she's been having a bummer summer, too. I figure it'll be good, to hang out and just have fun for a few days. Plus i miss the shit out of her.
As far as my love life goes, Celibate Summer might be over, but it might as well have started again, seeing as how i've been trying to keep myself out of trouble. I dunno what to think about anything, my mind is in so many directions. I definitely still have a crush on Veronica, not even a crush really, i like her. Then there's the dog walker, who i dunno what is going on there, or how i really feel about it. The ex who is still in love with me, who I want nothing to do with. The transplant, who i think is just someone i should be friends with. She is too much for me. Then there's the new girl. She likes me, but at the same time she doesn't like me at all. She thinks i'm the world's biggest shitbag. She might be right, judging from the past few sentences. Either way, we hung out the other night, and it was fun. I just can't handle her when she gets loaded, and is mouthy, and can't stand on her own.
Whatever, fall is here now, and there's no shortage of replacements and lemonheads records for me to listen to, to get in the mood for the season. I just need to buy a new ipod, so i can load it up with sweet jams, and ride around town. Who knows what will happen between now and the next time i find time to write.
My life really is still a mess, to be honest, haha.
It honestly has been a relatively eventful month, in my life. I certainly haven't had a shortage of things to do, whether i've been at work or not. I've been quite a busy bee, for the last 20 days or so.
After getting my house broken into last month, i decided to move out sooner than later, so i busted my ass to get my bills and what not paid off, so i worked pretty much non stop through the end of last month, and the beginning of this month. It helped me get straightened out, to an extent. I got moved out in the only 4 day stretch that i've had off in months. I unfortunately joined another band and had to learn songs, in that same 4 days, so that i could play a show. That little stretch has afforded me sanity, fun, minimal rest, and a seriously dinged up foot. While loading in for the show, i had a 8x10 bass cabinet fall on me and crush my foot against a stair. Needless to say, it felt fucking awesome. So now i've been limping around for a little over a week.
Moving out was fucking awesome, though, i live with 2 of my friends, in a different neighborhood, and most importantly, in a nice house.It was a pain getting moved in 2 days, but was awesome when i got it finished and over with. I was stoked, for sure. Now that i'm in here, it has made my life easier, and more fun. Living with Matt and Sean, rules. I'm siked on it, plus we all get on well with each other.
I've even had some other days off lately too, which has been pretty good. I've been to a baseball game, went to a Caps preseason game, played some shows, had some good hangouts, and generally been in a good mood. Now i'm just saving money, so I can go see V and my SF crew, and go to my cousin's wedding in Dec. Those will be 2 fun vacations, for sure. I'm excited to see V, cause she's been having a bummer summer, too. I figure it'll be good, to hang out and just have fun for a few days. Plus i miss the shit out of her.
As far as my love life goes, Celibate Summer might be over, but it might as well have started again, seeing as how i've been trying to keep myself out of trouble. I dunno what to think about anything, my mind is in so many directions. I definitely still have a crush on Veronica, not even a crush really, i like her. Then there's the dog walker, who i dunno what is going on there, or how i really feel about it. The ex who is still in love with me, who I want nothing to do with. The transplant, who i think is just someone i should be friends with. She is too much for me. Then there's the new girl. She likes me, but at the same time she doesn't like me at all. She thinks i'm the world's biggest shitbag. She might be right, judging from the past few sentences. Either way, we hung out the other night, and it was fun. I just can't handle her when she gets loaded, and is mouthy, and can't stand on her own.
Whatever, fall is here now, and there's no shortage of replacements and lemonheads records for me to listen to, to get in the mood for the season. I just need to buy a new ipod, so i can load it up with sweet jams, and ride around town. Who knows what will happen between now and the next time i find time to write.
My life really is still a mess, to be honest, haha.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Ugh, haha
I feel like time is getting stolen from my hands
each breath i take, is one closer to the last.
I'm watching the world racing by
Standing out of the way hands by my side.
We're all fucked
Out of time and out of luck.
Wasting away
Not enough "sorry's" for me to say.
Force fed everything you say
Your slogans are lies, always been this way
I don't know what else to do
Drown my sorrows or run away, we're still screwed
sleep. eat. work.
wash. rinse repeat.
life. love. regret.
each breath i take, is one closer to the last.
I'm watching the world racing by
Standing out of the way hands by my side.
We're all fucked
Out of time and out of luck.
Wasting away
Not enough "sorry's" for me to say.
Force fed everything you say
Your slogans are lies, always been this way
I don't know what else to do
Drown my sorrows or run away, we're still screwed
sleep. eat. work.
wash. rinse repeat.
life. love. regret.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Holy shit.
As i'm sitting here relaxing, and watching a Katt Williams special, i'm realizing that i honestly have not had time to chill and relax, since the last time. it's been a blur the last couple weeks, filled with work, and lots of it. I played a couple shows, and they went pretty cool. I wanted to go to the beach, but it wound up not happening, surprise surprise. I may try to go this weekend, who knows though?
I did get some cool news though, Ratsize is gonna have our Sam Holden photo in a new show on Starz or Bravo, i can't remember. Either way, you'll see our mugs in every shot of Dennis Hopper's office, in his new show. It's gonna be right behind his desk, i'm pretty stoked. Glad i wore a "cool" shirt in the photo.
Im finally fucking moving out this week, too. I'm pretty excited about that.
I don't even know what to say. I'm pretty much wicked unexciting these days.
I did get some cool news though, Ratsize is gonna have our Sam Holden photo in a new show on Starz or Bravo, i can't remember. Either way, you'll see our mugs in every shot of Dennis Hopper's office, in his new show. It's gonna be right behind his desk, i'm pretty stoked. Glad i wore a "cool" shirt in the photo.
Im finally fucking moving out this week, too. I'm pretty excited about that.
I don't even know what to say. I'm pretty much wicked unexciting these days.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
I'd like to think that this all means something.
My birthday came and went, with more fanfare than i expected. I worked a double that day, and had the Yacht Rock party that night. It was really fun, and busy at the same time. I didn't even get drunk, it was kind of funny. A lot of friends came out, and that was really cool. More than one person got me something special for my bday, that was pretty cool. Sherry got me an amazing present, that almost brought me to tears. It was really fucking cool. It meant a whole lot to me that she went through all of that trouble for me. I love her to death, she is the best best friend a dude could have. Hopefully we'll get to hang out some in September, if i have a free day or two.
I had a couple unintentional days off this week, too. It was pretty awesome. Last night i got cut from work, and wound up spinning records upstairs and getting fucking blacked out drunk. Slurring my words, stumbling drunk. It was awesome while i was doing it, but fuck if i didn't pay for it this morning. Then again a few high ball glasses of whiskey, and a buncha beers and other shots will do that to ya.
I had an awesome conversation with V today, about general life bullshit, and blackouts, as well as some old friends of mine. I'd really like to go out and visit her one of these days, i miss her a lot. Apart from still having a huge thing for her, she is a great person, and a treat to be around. We're definitely on the same level on a lot of things. I feel like we were kind of meant for each other sometimes. Either way, we talked and i learned some things about old friends that really bummed me out a lot. It's kind of a shame when people who were like family to you, are completely different than you remember. Ah, such as life, i guess.
It's been nice having the day to do whatever with, right now. I had band practice today, and went and grabbed a beer with Dave afterwards. I came home, and hung out with Gerry, ordered a pizza and watched tv. Something neither of us ever get to do. I don't even remember the last time we hung out not at work, or a bar. I hope he winds up joining the band, and not moving, cause he's really the only person other than Sherry, or Erica, to some extent that i really like being around. If he bolts to PDX, that'll be a bummer. It'll also be another reason to go visit one of the 10 people i know who are living there. It's turning into little Baltimore out there.
I'm also starting to get really tired of people that can't fix their own situations. I am included in that group, so it's not the pot calling the kettle black here. I'm well aware that I'm quite the sad sack, most days. However, i can at least not rely on other people to "fix me". So many people that i know, blame everything on other people and have no idea that the one thing that's wrong is them. I know i'm fucking crazy. I wish other people would realize it, and fucking figure it out. If you hate something so much that you truly do feel like it's ruining you, stop fucking doing it. It's pretty simple.
As far as how to fix my own situation, i dunno. I control my own destiny, and I guess I'm just waiting for something great to happen to me. Whatever, or whomever it is, i'm waiting with baited breath, and my arms spread wide, waiting to embrace it.
As for right now though, i'm relaxing and watching Replacements videos on youtube. It's pretty fucking great.
I had a couple unintentional days off this week, too. It was pretty awesome. Last night i got cut from work, and wound up spinning records upstairs and getting fucking blacked out drunk. Slurring my words, stumbling drunk. It was awesome while i was doing it, but fuck if i didn't pay for it this morning. Then again a few high ball glasses of whiskey, and a buncha beers and other shots will do that to ya.
I had an awesome conversation with V today, about general life bullshit, and blackouts, as well as some old friends of mine. I'd really like to go out and visit her one of these days, i miss her a lot. Apart from still having a huge thing for her, she is a great person, and a treat to be around. We're definitely on the same level on a lot of things. I feel like we were kind of meant for each other sometimes. Either way, we talked and i learned some things about old friends that really bummed me out a lot. It's kind of a shame when people who were like family to you, are completely different than you remember. Ah, such as life, i guess.
It's been nice having the day to do whatever with, right now. I had band practice today, and went and grabbed a beer with Dave afterwards. I came home, and hung out with Gerry, ordered a pizza and watched tv. Something neither of us ever get to do. I don't even remember the last time we hung out not at work, or a bar. I hope he winds up joining the band, and not moving, cause he's really the only person other than Sherry, or Erica, to some extent that i really like being around. If he bolts to PDX, that'll be a bummer. It'll also be another reason to go visit one of the 10 people i know who are living there. It's turning into little Baltimore out there.
I'm also starting to get really tired of people that can't fix their own situations. I am included in that group, so it's not the pot calling the kettle black here. I'm well aware that I'm quite the sad sack, most days. However, i can at least not rely on other people to "fix me". So many people that i know, blame everything on other people and have no idea that the one thing that's wrong is them. I know i'm fucking crazy. I wish other people would realize it, and fucking figure it out. If you hate something so much that you truly do feel like it's ruining you, stop fucking doing it. It's pretty simple.
As far as how to fix my own situation, i dunno. I control my own destiny, and I guess I'm just waiting for something great to happen to me. Whatever, or whomever it is, i'm waiting with baited breath, and my arms spread wide, waiting to embrace it.
As for right now though, i'm relaxing and watching Replacements videos on youtube. It's pretty fucking great.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Celibate Summer
Celibate Summer. Started off as a joke, and has now become a full fledged reality. It's a good thing, i think. It's kept me out of trouble, and limited the number of regrettable decisions that a guy like me can make when dealing with serious bouts of drinking away depression. I haven't even hung out with a girl, really, until today. In her case, she is one of my ex's, Dana, the girl that you can read about in the first series of entries in here. She is also part of the reason that I am depressed. Not now, but in the beginning, she was a catalyst for the place of driven myself to, now. It was pretty ironic that the one person who called me to hang out, was the one who didn't want to see me anymore 2 months ago. My life is that good.
She said she'd take me out for my birthday, to lunch or something. We didn't eat. She did, I didnt. I got coffee, and she got cake and later on, ice cream. It was fine hanging out with her. We did the normal dance around the topics of conversation we know shouldn't get brought up. Walked around, chatted, all that stuff. We decided to go to a movie. Step Brothers, my choice. I thought it was average, she fucking hated it. Afterwards, she dropped me off and i came home. Real exciting stuff. It was good for me to get out of bed before noon, though, so i'll give her points for getting me to do that.
I sat around all day yesterday, and watched tv. Watched a rom com that made me get teary eyed. i think i'm starting to lose a grip on my sanity, or really be getting seriously depressed. i think it's the latter. my habits are not good. sleeping all day, not going anywhere, only leaving the house to work, mood swings, not eating, drinking a lot, doing a ton of drugs. it's not good. obviously i don't give enough of a shit to straighten myself out either, so whatever.
Last night, i wasn't feeling particularly social. I wound up going to see a movie alone. It's kind of weird that i've seen more movies this month, than i've seen in the last year before this, combined. Anyway, i went to Rotunda, saw Pineapple Express, and thought it was awesome. It was funny, cause there wound up being like 10 people i knew at the same movie. It figures, small town we have here. Afterwards, i went with John, David, and Roman down to Rocket. It was Matt's birthday. Got there right in time to sing him happy birthday at midnight. Hung out til last call, didn't drink a whole lot. Just came home and watched tv for about 20 minutes, so i could get up to hang with Dana today. Insomnia fucked with me til about 6, so it was whatever. I got to sleep and it was fine.
Other than that, work's been kicking my ass, and so has life in general. My birthday is in 2 days, and the only people who have even bothered to give half a shit are 2 of my ex girlfriends. Life is grand.
She said she'd take me out for my birthday, to lunch or something. We didn't eat. She did, I didnt. I got coffee, and she got cake and later on, ice cream. It was fine hanging out with her. We did the normal dance around the topics of conversation we know shouldn't get brought up. Walked around, chatted, all that stuff. We decided to go to a movie. Step Brothers, my choice. I thought it was average, she fucking hated it. Afterwards, she dropped me off and i came home. Real exciting stuff. It was good for me to get out of bed before noon, though, so i'll give her points for getting me to do that.
I sat around all day yesterday, and watched tv. Watched a rom com that made me get teary eyed. i think i'm starting to lose a grip on my sanity, or really be getting seriously depressed. i think it's the latter. my habits are not good. sleeping all day, not going anywhere, only leaving the house to work, mood swings, not eating, drinking a lot, doing a ton of drugs. it's not good. obviously i don't give enough of a shit to straighten myself out either, so whatever.
Last night, i wasn't feeling particularly social. I wound up going to see a movie alone. It's kind of weird that i've seen more movies this month, than i've seen in the last year before this, combined. Anyway, i went to Rotunda, saw Pineapple Express, and thought it was awesome. It was funny, cause there wound up being like 10 people i knew at the same movie. It figures, small town we have here. Afterwards, i went with John, David, and Roman down to Rocket. It was Matt's birthday. Got there right in time to sing him happy birthday at midnight. Hung out til last call, didn't drink a whole lot. Just came home and watched tv for about 20 minutes, so i could get up to hang with Dana today. Insomnia fucked with me til about 6, so it was whatever. I got to sleep and it was fine.
Other than that, work's been kicking my ass, and so has life in general. My birthday is in 2 days, and the only people who have even bothered to give half a shit are 2 of my ex girlfriends. Life is grand.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Bright lights, big city.
So, we're a week into august, now. It hasn't been too bad weatherwise, lately. I've been able to tolerate sitting on the porch, and whatever else it is I do when I'm outside. I still haven't been swimming too much. I thought i was going to get to go tubing last week, but it wound up falling through, since there was some bad storms early in the morning. The Church down the street even burnt down, cause it got struck by lightning. It was pretty intense, even the stained glass melted.
I've been working non stop since i last wrote, and will continue to keep doing so. This month i am working a ridiculous amount. I figure it'll be worth it, so that I can save some money. I got a new place to live for when my lease is up. It'll be two blocks up from the bar, which is cool. Nice and convenient. It'll be more expensive than what i'm paying now, but i'm not worried about it. I can swing 650 a month, i think. The place is pretty awesome from what I've been told. I'm gonna go and check it out sometime tonight before work.
Other than that, not much has gone on. I went swimming with some people last week, one of whom i have a crush on, but she could give a shit about me. i'm not tall enough, or remotely her type. it's more of a pipe dream. i saw her at this party i went to last night before i came home, and she didnt even respond when i said hello to her. Real nice, haha. Girls i don't like won't leave me alone, and girls i would like to get to know better, don't want to know me at all. Quite a vicious cycle. Then of course there are the girls that are like mattresses, and sleep with anyone. I don't want much to do with them either.
I've gotten back to the point where couples make me sick most of the time. I am almost angered by the fact that 2 people can be in love and happy. I think because it's been so long since i've felt that, that my jealousy of it makes me upset.
for as many people as they say care about me, not many people do. at least i don't think so anymore. hardly anyone calls me to hang out, ever. maybe it's cause I work nights, or something. that's what i'll tell myself.
fuck, i'm kinda bummed out now. looks like it's about to rain. i need to get something to eat before work. who knows what i'll do?
I've been working non stop since i last wrote, and will continue to keep doing so. This month i am working a ridiculous amount. I figure it'll be worth it, so that I can save some money. I got a new place to live for when my lease is up. It'll be two blocks up from the bar, which is cool. Nice and convenient. It'll be more expensive than what i'm paying now, but i'm not worried about it. I can swing 650 a month, i think. The place is pretty awesome from what I've been told. I'm gonna go and check it out sometime tonight before work.
Other than that, not much has gone on. I went swimming with some people last week, one of whom i have a crush on, but she could give a shit about me. i'm not tall enough, or remotely her type. it's more of a pipe dream. i saw her at this party i went to last night before i came home, and she didnt even respond when i said hello to her. Real nice, haha. Girls i don't like won't leave me alone, and girls i would like to get to know better, don't want to know me at all. Quite a vicious cycle. Then of course there are the girls that are like mattresses, and sleep with anyone. I don't want much to do with them either.
I've gotten back to the point where couples make me sick most of the time. I am almost angered by the fact that 2 people can be in love and happy. I think because it's been so long since i've felt that, that my jealousy of it makes me upset.
for as many people as they say care about me, not many people do. at least i don't think so anymore. hardly anyone calls me to hang out, ever. maybe it's cause I work nights, or something. that's what i'll tell myself.
fuck, i'm kinda bummed out now. looks like it's about to rain. i need to get something to eat before work. who knows what i'll do?
Thursday, July 31, 2008
The very last gang in town.
The consistency of this summer has something to be said for it, i must be honest. As disappointing as it has been, at least it's consistency is impeccable. I really havent set out and done anything that i had intended on accomplishing. I haven't been on vacation, or really even been out of town other than to play shows. I've seen some friends, from different places, and that's been nice. I've had a lot of my friends from here make me change my opinion on them, for sure. That really sucked, actually.
I had a lot of hope for this summer, and felt like i'd be able to do a lot of things, and make it better than last summer. However, it has pretty much turned out exactly like last summer, almost to a t. I've been a lot busier, sort of, and maybe that's been a good thing. I can't really tell. The one bright spot of the whole thing is that i haven't been running around with sketchy girls, or any girls at all, for that matter. i've let one girl push my buttons, but honestly, she does that no matter what time of year it is. i wish she'd just stop, or figure it out. it's been playing a large role in the breaking down of my sanity. she knows that though, and i think she likes doing it for that purpose, honestly.
august is gonna be almost unbearable. i have to work pretty much every day, and am not going to be off on my birthday. or any of the days around it. it's kind of a bummer. it was good to know a couple people were gonna try to do something for me. i felt bad telling them to forget about it. it's cool though, i'd rather let em know ahead of time, because they'd have wasted their time.
i hope i make enough money to take a vacation or something in the fall. i need to get away to someplace where i can just hang out with myself, and not worry about it. spending 3 days alone somewhere sounds like the best thing in the world right now, to be honest.
oh well, the Celibate summer 08 happiness train plows on into August. Takin' no prisoners!!!
I had a lot of hope for this summer, and felt like i'd be able to do a lot of things, and make it better than last summer. However, it has pretty much turned out exactly like last summer, almost to a t. I've been a lot busier, sort of, and maybe that's been a good thing. I can't really tell. The one bright spot of the whole thing is that i haven't been running around with sketchy girls, or any girls at all, for that matter. i've let one girl push my buttons, but honestly, she does that no matter what time of year it is. i wish she'd just stop, or figure it out. it's been playing a large role in the breaking down of my sanity. she knows that though, and i think she likes doing it for that purpose, honestly.
august is gonna be almost unbearable. i have to work pretty much every day, and am not going to be off on my birthday. or any of the days around it. it's kind of a bummer. it was good to know a couple people were gonna try to do something for me. i felt bad telling them to forget about it. it's cool though, i'd rather let em know ahead of time, because they'd have wasted their time.
i hope i make enough money to take a vacation or something in the fall. i need to get away to someplace where i can just hang out with myself, and not worry about it. spending 3 days alone somewhere sounds like the best thing in the world right now, to be honest.
oh well, the Celibate summer 08 happiness train plows on into August. Takin' no prisoners!!!
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Seriously, come on!
It almost bothers me how people know what pushes my buttons or pulls my heartstrings. It also doesn't help that people think i have a serious drug problem, or am seriously depressed. It's all of the above. Fuck off.
Just let me fucking figure it out, christ. I'm almost 28. I should honestly know, by now.
Just let me fucking figure it out, christ. I'm almost 28. I should honestly know, by now.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Stuck in the sauna.
Man, is it hot in baltimore this weekend. I mean oppressively hot. They say it's 95, but fuck man, it feels like it's another 10 degrees hotter. I'm sure the humidity is to blame, at least that's what anyone over 45 or a weatherman lays on you. I went to get brunch by myself at Rocket today, and was sweating after walking two blocks. Two blocks!!! Ridiculous.
I've been going non stop for the last 4 or 5 days, I'm not even sure. I went down to the Warped Tour on Wed., and hung out with some friends who i haven't seen in a long time. Some i didn't even know were there. It was cool to catch up with the Bouncing Souls and Bronx guys, since when I usually run into them i'm on tour working for someone, and can't really hang til i'm done for the night. Matt and Eric from the Strikes were there hangin too. I wound up just hangin and drinking sangria all day, and hanging at rocket at the end of the night.
The next night the Oranges played in DC. Nothing exciting. Minnesota Rachel and her friend came out. Andrew Black was there too, which was cool, wish he'd have stuck around and hung out for a bit. Me and Dave got drunk, and i ate awesome vegan nachos. Kate's friends were wasted, and for some reason were enamored with the fact that i was in a band. i wish i gave a shit that girls thought that was cool, but generally girls like that suck. At least in my experience with them. Whatever, add that to the list of reasons that I'm still single, haha. After we left, me, Roman, and Doug went and got some drinks at rocket. I wound up hanging with Buck til like 4 am.
Friday, aka hell day. Oranges played artscape. It was fucking hot. Got to open for Joan Jett though, which was pretty cool. She was real nice. Some people came out. I was glad I wasn't hungover. That would have been awful. I did sweat like crazy though. Soaked to the bone. There were 2 girls up front that kept giving me sex eyes and it kept making me nervous. i just looked down at the stage or at the weird old dancing woman in the back. By the time Joan Jett went on, i was over it. I hate big crowds, and getting almost trampled by a gaggle of lesbians was not awesome. I went and hung out at Jeff's for a bit after the show, and then me and him took a cab over to Frijoles. just hung there, and then kicked it late night with Jesse, tom, and peter. it was cool, just drinking, bullshitting, and listening to records. Sausage party.
Last night i had to play a show and work at the same time. nothing exciting, didn't do a whole lot. hit myself a bunch, threw the mic into my eye at one point. Broke up a fight at one point, and that's about it. Hung out with Chuck and Cris after work, had a beer and went home.
Real exciting, and relatively lonely. Single summer 08 rolls on.
I've been going non stop for the last 4 or 5 days, I'm not even sure. I went down to the Warped Tour on Wed., and hung out with some friends who i haven't seen in a long time. Some i didn't even know were there. It was cool to catch up with the Bouncing Souls and Bronx guys, since when I usually run into them i'm on tour working for someone, and can't really hang til i'm done for the night. Matt and Eric from the Strikes were there hangin too. I wound up just hangin and drinking sangria all day, and hanging at rocket at the end of the night.
The next night the Oranges played in DC. Nothing exciting. Minnesota Rachel and her friend came out. Andrew Black was there too, which was cool, wish he'd have stuck around and hung out for a bit. Me and Dave got drunk, and i ate awesome vegan nachos. Kate's friends were wasted, and for some reason were enamored with the fact that i was in a band. i wish i gave a shit that girls thought that was cool, but generally girls like that suck. At least in my experience with them. Whatever, add that to the list of reasons that I'm still single, haha. After we left, me, Roman, and Doug went and got some drinks at rocket. I wound up hanging with Buck til like 4 am.
Friday, aka hell day. Oranges played artscape. It was fucking hot. Got to open for Joan Jett though, which was pretty cool. She was real nice. Some people came out. I was glad I wasn't hungover. That would have been awful. I did sweat like crazy though. Soaked to the bone. There were 2 girls up front that kept giving me sex eyes and it kept making me nervous. i just looked down at the stage or at the weird old dancing woman in the back. By the time Joan Jett went on, i was over it. I hate big crowds, and getting almost trampled by a gaggle of lesbians was not awesome. I went and hung out at Jeff's for a bit after the show, and then me and him took a cab over to Frijoles. just hung there, and then kicked it late night with Jesse, tom, and peter. it was cool, just drinking, bullshitting, and listening to records. Sausage party.
Last night i had to play a show and work at the same time. nothing exciting, didn't do a whole lot. hit myself a bunch, threw the mic into my eye at one point. Broke up a fight at one point, and that's about it. Hung out with Chuck and Cris after work, had a beer and went home.
Real exciting, and relatively lonely. Single summer 08 rolls on.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
We're running in circles.
I'm really starting to feel like my life is one never ending cycle. People coming and going, trends circling back around, wash, rinse and repeat. I don't think that i've ever really been able to get over anything ever, because for some reason it won't escape me. Every day i see someone whom i've had some sort of encounter with, that won't let me get away, or forget about them. It's almost as if those around me are so co dependent that i just can't shake them.
I'm not going to lie, one or two of them are certainly situations i look at as missed opportunities or second chances i would like to take, but for the most part i would just like to be able to move on.
i mean fuck, how are you going to not talk to someone forever and then pop back into their life, and pretend like things are totally ok, and nothing changed. Or for another example, how are you gonna tell someone you need them in your life so badly, and then do something behind their back, hoping they don't notice, or just not care if they find out?
What the fuck am I doing with myself? I have a hard enough time figuring that out without all of these other distractions throwing a wrench in the gears.
I wish i could just get away and spend time with a second chance, or a missed opportunity, and hope that it gets my head straight. Honestly right now, i don't think it would, but then again, my life has been complete chaos for so long, I don't even know what normal is anymore. Fuck, I'm a mess, and I don't even know what to do about it or how to fix it.
Haha, i hope someone random comes to this entry and makes sense of it. if you can, please let me know, cause I sure as shit can't figure it out.
I'm not going to lie, one or two of them are certainly situations i look at as missed opportunities or second chances i would like to take, but for the most part i would just like to be able to move on.
i mean fuck, how are you going to not talk to someone forever and then pop back into their life, and pretend like things are totally ok, and nothing changed. Or for another example, how are you gonna tell someone you need them in your life so badly, and then do something behind their back, hoping they don't notice, or just not care if they find out?
What the fuck am I doing with myself? I have a hard enough time figuring that out without all of these other distractions throwing a wrench in the gears.
I wish i could just get away and spend time with a second chance, or a missed opportunity, and hope that it gets my head straight. Honestly right now, i don't think it would, but then again, my life has been complete chaos for so long, I don't even know what normal is anymore. Fuck, I'm a mess, and I don't even know what to do about it or how to fix it.
Haha, i hope someone random comes to this entry and makes sense of it. if you can, please let me know, cause I sure as shit can't figure it out.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Monday, July 14, 2008
i"m glad...
no one reads this.
i wanna eat lead right now.
fuck this city and the one thing i felt good about.
i wanna eat lead right now.
fuck this city and the one thing i felt good about.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Struggle free summer.
i think i've gotten back in the practice of making bad decisions.
my job is sucking my soul out of my body.
i'm pretty sure employing a life coach might be of some help to me.
seeing my best friends get hammered by bad news sucks.
hanging out with my best friends is still awesome though.
i am extremely busy and moving around non stop for the next 2 weeks.
hectic life makes for hectic times.
i need a fucking massage, and an unbroken pinky.
my job is sucking my soul out of my body.
i'm pretty sure employing a life coach might be of some help to me.
seeing my best friends get hammered by bad news sucks.
hanging out with my best friends is still awesome though.
i am extremely busy and moving around non stop for the next 2 weeks.
hectic life makes for hectic times.
i need a fucking massage, and an unbroken pinky.
Friday, June 27, 2008
It's raining in Bltimore
I'm killing time until i have to go to work. It's raining like crazy, hope that it cools everything down. I have nothing exciting to report. It's been pretty ho hum the last couple of days. i have friends in town i'm not going to be able to hang with because of work. I'm off saturday. I need to find something to do.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Are you going to...dick meeting?!?!
it's been a pretty eventful stint in my last week of living. i've actually done something outside of my normal routine. the night of the last entry i was in pretty good spirits, and happy about life. that came crashing down the next day when i was at work and found out i had been double scheduled. this was due to the fact that iron maiden was playing and the entire bar went to the show. literally the entire security and bar staff that was not scheduled was there. I was stuck working all night. It was pretty fucking irritating. The next night, it took a turn for the better, cause it was the last night for the current thursday night dj's. the music was finally good, too, so of course no one came out, cause they are idiots. there was also a hip hop show downstairs, and the crossover appeal wasn't happening. i did get to meet two awesome girls from boston, who tipped me excellent, and gave me their numbers. i will be hanging with them in the future, i hope.
finally on friday, i broke out of my normal day to day bullshit! i went to new york for a couple days, so we could play our yearly soccer match. we left around 7 or so and had a really entertaining ride up. i rode with sherry and the Dosch. We listened to a bunch of old school jams, and had serious sing alongs. it was a lot of fun. when we got up to ny, we met up with a friend of ben's, and the 6 of us who came up early went out drinking. my friend lisa came out, which was cool. found out her and justin broke up. also cool. found out they broke up because of some girl he slept with. i slept with her too. not cool. either way, she's one of the girls i was talking about liking having a crush on. when i hang with her, it feels really awesome. that's good enough for me. i want her to stick around, not go home. after we went out to another couple of bars, and picked up some more people, we had to get some sleep. we went to barcade, and trashed, which were awesome. i fucking hate union pool though. that place is always filled with dickweeds. katie bailed on giving me a place to stay, but my homegirl sona came through in the clutch!!! unfortunately it took us forever to find her house cause we missed a turn.
the next day was the game. after getting 2 hours of sleep, we left brooklyn for long island. it sucked, i should have just stayed up. during warmups for the game, i broke my finger and strained a muscle in my ribs, somehow. fortunately, i was the only goalie, and we only had 3 subs, so, i got to play a 90 minute game, injured. we lost by 1 goal. i had a meltdown, but wound up being ok.
after the game we went and bbq'd for a bit and came back into the city. we stayed with sona again, and hung out at her place, before going out. katie wound up coming over to meet us, and it was chill. we eventually went back, and got some much needed sleep.
Sunday was a return to the routine. after driving back, i went to stop into work to get my phone charger. bad idea. the kid covering my shift never showed. fucking great. so i had to work. my legs were sunburnt. my finger's broken, and i gotta work this dancy/dj bullshit. i wound up getting off at midnight. lucky me, i also was dodging emily all night.
monday, i had off and got crabs with brigette, kicked it at rocket. watched Pam get crazy, and saw a girl i used to sleep with go home with Pietro. ew. at least i got to hang with matt for the first time in awhile. we're gonna have band practice saturday.
last night, just dj'd, emily got drunk, i didnt. she kept trying to kiss me and hug me all night. it was fucking annoying. even if i were dating her in any capacity, i would hate this. much less from a girl i've slept with a handful of times. she wanted to come over, i didnt. i won, i got to go to bed alone. and wake up alone. and here i am, sitting in my office, which is my bedroom. while gerry and megan lay there in bed, hearing me click away on my computer, having sweet conversations to themselves.
i'm counting down the hours til work, and band meeting, present.
finally on friday, i broke out of my normal day to day bullshit! i went to new york for a couple days, so we could play our yearly soccer match. we left around 7 or so and had a really entertaining ride up. i rode with sherry and the Dosch. We listened to a bunch of old school jams, and had serious sing alongs. it was a lot of fun. when we got up to ny, we met up with a friend of ben's, and the 6 of us who came up early went out drinking. my friend lisa came out, which was cool. found out her and justin broke up. also cool. found out they broke up because of some girl he slept with. i slept with her too. not cool. either way, she's one of the girls i was talking about liking having a crush on. when i hang with her, it feels really awesome. that's good enough for me. i want her to stick around, not go home. after we went out to another couple of bars, and picked up some more people, we had to get some sleep. we went to barcade, and trashed, which were awesome. i fucking hate union pool though. that place is always filled with dickweeds. katie bailed on giving me a place to stay, but my homegirl sona came through in the clutch!!! unfortunately it took us forever to find her house cause we missed a turn.
the next day was the game. after getting 2 hours of sleep, we left brooklyn for long island. it sucked, i should have just stayed up. during warmups for the game, i broke my finger and strained a muscle in my ribs, somehow. fortunately, i was the only goalie, and we only had 3 subs, so, i got to play a 90 minute game, injured. we lost by 1 goal. i had a meltdown, but wound up being ok.
after the game we went and bbq'd for a bit and came back into the city. we stayed with sona again, and hung out at her place, before going out. katie wound up coming over to meet us, and it was chill. we eventually went back, and got some much needed sleep.
Sunday was a return to the routine. after driving back, i went to stop into work to get my phone charger. bad idea. the kid covering my shift never showed. fucking great. so i had to work. my legs were sunburnt. my finger's broken, and i gotta work this dancy/dj bullshit. i wound up getting off at midnight. lucky me, i also was dodging emily all night.
monday, i had off and got crabs with brigette, kicked it at rocket. watched Pam get crazy, and saw a girl i used to sleep with go home with Pietro. ew. at least i got to hang with matt for the first time in awhile. we're gonna have band practice saturday.
last night, just dj'd, emily got drunk, i didnt. she kept trying to kiss me and hug me all night. it was fucking annoying. even if i were dating her in any capacity, i would hate this. much less from a girl i've slept with a handful of times. she wanted to come over, i didnt. i won, i got to go to bed alone. and wake up alone. and here i am, sitting in my office, which is my bedroom. while gerry and megan lay there in bed, hearing me click away on my computer, having sweet conversations to themselves.
i'm counting down the hours til work, and band meeting, present.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
recap
6 am.
can't sleep.
saw old friends.
went to a show.
saw kids mosh.
drank skunked beer.
learning more everyday.
still need a vacation.
can't handle being around people, very well.
one of my crushes makes me nervous.
don't know if it's good or bad.
walks home alone at 4 am are kind of nice.
can't sleep.
saw old friends.
went to a show.
saw kids mosh.
drank skunked beer.
learning more everyday.
still need a vacation.
can't handle being around people, very well.
one of my crushes makes me nervous.
don't know if it's good or bad.
walks home alone at 4 am are kind of nice.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Summer is here.
I finally went night swimming the other night, wasted out of my mind at 3 am. It was really fun, i think. I really love going swimming. If i had a car, i'd probably go swimming every day. I'd also probably do a lot of other things if i had a car as well. I know i'd go to the beach on every day off.
I'm making plans to go on a vacation with Jess, to AC. She likes gambling, and so do i. We also like the beach, and getting drunk. This trip sounds like a winning combo.
I found out my ex is dating one of my best friends. That's awesome. At least he's a good dude, so i'm pretty ok with it. i kinda figured that was what would wind up happening anyway. it's kind of weird. i definetly had a dream last night where we had gotten back together. i dunno what to think about that, haha.
I'm gonna go see my friends play a show tonight, one of the rare times i go to a show willingly, much less a hc show. apparently i'm not too old for it. either way, i'll get to see a lot of friends, and hang out. that's the one thing i really want to do right now, since i never get to do it.
my bands have some sweet shows coming up, too. so i have that to look forward to, as well.
Everything seems to be coming up roses.
currently playing: Ambulette- Seconds til Midnight.
I'm making plans to go on a vacation with Jess, to AC. She likes gambling, and so do i. We also like the beach, and getting drunk. This trip sounds like a winning combo.
I found out my ex is dating one of my best friends. That's awesome. At least he's a good dude, so i'm pretty ok with it. i kinda figured that was what would wind up happening anyway. it's kind of weird. i definetly had a dream last night where we had gotten back together. i dunno what to think about that, haha.
I'm gonna go see my friends play a show tonight, one of the rare times i go to a show willingly, much less a hc show. apparently i'm not too old for it. either way, i'll get to see a lot of friends, and hang out. that's the one thing i really want to do right now, since i never get to do it.
my bands have some sweet shows coming up, too. so i have that to look forward to, as well.
Everything seems to be coming up roses.
currently playing: Ambulette- Seconds til Midnight.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
busy busy busy.
so it's been a while since i last posted. nothing out of the ordinary has really been happening. i've been working a whole lot, and not really making the most of my time off. i had hoped that i would go get a funnel cake at Honfest today, but ultimately have wound up smoking in my room and sitting in the AC.
i have been pretty unhappy since me and dana broke up, but not in the way that she is the one making me that way. although, she did have a small part in it. in the last couple days, it had a little more sting than i thought, as well. i think i've just realized that i have that feeling that as much as i want to leave here, i am stuck, and doomed to keep repeating the same mistakes. some mistakes you never stop paying for, as the suicide file says. i knew i should have moved to richmond when i'd planned on it. who knows were my life would have taken me by now. all i know is that other than a few great friends, and life experience, baltimore really hasn't done so much for me. i've lived here for 10 years almost. that's all i get? that's fucked.
on to somewhat happier things, this summer has pretty much involved the same thing most summers have when i've not ben on tour: hot weather, no socks, late nights, girls, drugs, drinking, sitting on the porch, and work. the new bonus is having a room with windows, and an ac unit. the other new thing with this summer for me, is having crushes. for some reason it's something that i never really develop, but it's kind of a new thing. usually i just decide that i think a girl is attractive, ask her out, yadda yadaa yadda. these girls, i honestly don't even want anything to do with. i just like the idea that i think they are nice/funny/cute/interesting, and when i see them i get a little flustered. it is kind of a bummer, but at the same time, i'm tired of getting consistently screwed over by girls. this makes it a ton easier. i just like the idea of them. single summer 08.
it'd be great to not be so lonely, and generally unhappy with my situation, but having outside stress, and working too much pretty much prevents me from having a relationship with anyone, on any level, it seems like. at least my life isn't like it used to be where i'd have some girl in my bed, who more times than not, i could have cared if they were there or not. i was usually just using them, or they were using me, too. i don't know, it was just to compensate for something that wasn't there, and something i wanted to feel.
my plans of going on vacation went awry this week as well, seeing as how working at the bar may not be so good next month. i'm gonna have to try and be as thrifty as possible. i've already started with my banana/iced tea/water/bread and hummus diet. it amounts to $10 a week for groceries. fortunately i take vitamins. hopefully it results in me losing a couple pounds.
really i kind of hope something good comes out of this summer to restore my faith in something. really, i just want to go on vacation.
i have been pretty unhappy since me and dana broke up, but not in the way that she is the one making me that way. although, she did have a small part in it. in the last couple days, it had a little more sting than i thought, as well. i think i've just realized that i have that feeling that as much as i want to leave here, i am stuck, and doomed to keep repeating the same mistakes. some mistakes you never stop paying for, as the suicide file says. i knew i should have moved to richmond when i'd planned on it. who knows were my life would have taken me by now. all i know is that other than a few great friends, and life experience, baltimore really hasn't done so much for me. i've lived here for 10 years almost. that's all i get? that's fucked.
on to somewhat happier things, this summer has pretty much involved the same thing most summers have when i've not ben on tour: hot weather, no socks, late nights, girls, drugs, drinking, sitting on the porch, and work. the new bonus is having a room with windows, and an ac unit. the other new thing with this summer for me, is having crushes. for some reason it's something that i never really develop, but it's kind of a new thing. usually i just decide that i think a girl is attractive, ask her out, yadda yadaa yadda. these girls, i honestly don't even want anything to do with. i just like the idea that i think they are nice/funny/cute/interesting, and when i see them i get a little flustered. it is kind of a bummer, but at the same time, i'm tired of getting consistently screwed over by girls. this makes it a ton easier. i just like the idea of them. single summer 08.
it'd be great to not be so lonely, and generally unhappy with my situation, but having outside stress, and working too much pretty much prevents me from having a relationship with anyone, on any level, it seems like. at least my life isn't like it used to be where i'd have some girl in my bed, who more times than not, i could have cared if they were there or not. i was usually just using them, or they were using me, too. i don't know, it was just to compensate for something that wasn't there, and something i wanted to feel.
my plans of going on vacation went awry this week as well, seeing as how working at the bar may not be so good next month. i'm gonna have to try and be as thrifty as possible. i've already started with my banana/iced tea/water/bread and hummus diet. it amounts to $10 a week for groceries. fortunately i take vitamins. hopefully it results in me losing a couple pounds.
really i kind of hope something good comes out of this summer to restore my faith in something. really, i just want to go on vacation.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Fuck, dude.
Between my allergies and my mental state, i'm not very happy with life right now. Thank god i've gotten ahold of some valiums, cause they're at least getting me through the day. Granted, I'm not breathing out of my nose, and look like a mouthbreathing retard, but still, they help me not be depressed.
I'm finally taking a vacation to Texas next month. I deserve 5 days off in the hottest part of the country. At least i get to go with a couple friends and see one of my favorite bands play their last show, then hang out with other people who i love.
Bartending more, and doing security less, helps a lot, too. I'd rather serve drinks to people, than to keep an eye on them. i also like giving my friends money for working hard, too, at the end of the night. I know how much it sucks doing it, so it's cool to be able to help out.
Work was boring, white trash people suck and don't tip, and none of my friends came in to hang out. Kind of a weak night. Oh well, fuck it, At least i don't have to hear the chit chat of people in love, or the moans of someone i could give a fuck about in my bed. i'm gonna listen to spiritualized, and get some sleep.
I'm finally taking a vacation to Texas next month. I deserve 5 days off in the hottest part of the country. At least i get to go with a couple friends and see one of my favorite bands play their last show, then hang out with other people who i love.
Bartending more, and doing security less, helps a lot, too. I'd rather serve drinks to people, than to keep an eye on them. i also like giving my friends money for working hard, too, at the end of the night. I know how much it sucks doing it, so it's cool to be able to help out.
Work was boring, white trash people suck and don't tip, and none of my friends came in to hang out. Kind of a weak night. Oh well, fuck it, At least i don't have to hear the chit chat of people in love, or the moans of someone i could give a fuck about in my bed. i'm gonna listen to spiritualized, and get some sleep.
Friday, May 30, 2008
the hum of the fan is a constant.
there's nothing more heartbreaking than listening to sad songs in your room, and hearing the giggles and mumbling of people in love through the fucking wall. it's good for making you feel lonelier than you already are, and pushing you further to the point of a manic episode, or nervous breakdown.
fuck, haha. i feel stupid.
i feel like tonight is gonna be another night that i watch the sun rise over the rowhouses of hampden. it's comforting in a fucked up way. i like the way the light hits those houses outside my window at 6 am, and 6 pm. A 12 hour difference, in beauty and time.
i have today off, and know that i'm gonna do absolutely fuck all with it. i'll probably write something after i get up. maybe i'll get to sleep soon. obviously i needed to do something with my time.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
It's kind of irritating when you are paying to have the internet and can't log on to the wireless in your own house. I would love to thank NETGEAR, and Scott, for not blocking their wireless connections wherever they live close to me. Thanks guys/gals.
I miraculously had another day off of work last night, so of course i went out, and enjoyed myself, for a change. i spent the afternoon watching the soccer game w/ ben and tj, drinking beers on the couch. we wrapped that up by meeting up with sherry and steve at Samos, for dinner. $5 gyros, dude. Best in the city easy. Went back home afterwards, to chill for a minute, and then met up with Ben and Dosch, to have a birthday beer. It was Dosch's bday yesterday, but he can't get wild til the weekend, so i went and had a beer with them at rocket.
while at rocket, the girl i had encountered in my first couple posts was there. she apologized profusely, and ultimately made me feel bad about how i reacted to her. she is a real nice person, just too fucked up for me to handle, i think. i had a drink with her, and kindly exited, to go meet up with some friends at the golden west. I was told it was real fun, so i should head over. Apparently in the 5 minutes it took me to walk there, it started to suck, and everyone left. thanks, guys.
i stopped into frijoles and wound up having drinks there for the rest of th night, cause it was chill. the people i was suposed to meet, showed up there, and were wasted, and mildly annoying. fortunately they were too drunk to stay and they left. chase howed up with more fireworks, so i'm guessing they went to go blow things up.
i wound up hanging with Dan, erica, and Jesse for the rest of the night. we listenened to the bad brains and drank beer. it was awesome. the walk home was really nice too. it was gorgeous out last night. another day, another drink, another night alone. perfect.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Worn out.
I feel like I've been working non stop lately. It's probably a good thing, cause it's kept me out of trouble. It's also helped me save money which is always a good thing. I spent most of my weekend working at the bar. Saturday however, I worked Deathfest at Sonar. It was pretty impressive seeing the amount of total nerds at that thing. I also got to see Disfear finally. I don't care what people say about that band, they fucking killed it. Probably one of the best bands i saw this year. Sunday i worked at the bar, and decided i wanted to do something awesome the next day, since i had off of work. Dave planted the idea of going to atlantic city in my head. It sounded like a winner to me. It had everything i wanted. The beach, booze, and gambling. It sounded like a winner
Of course, Monday was the first day I've had to myself in a while. Instead of going to AC, I spent the day hanging out, went to a BBQ, went out drinking. Apparently i got fucking shitfaced. I am going to blame the sangria. It's probably good that I didnt go to atlantic city. I dunno how much fun i could have had by myself. None of my friends were in the position to go with me. I did have a lot of fun hanging out at the bbq and frijoles anyway. Obviously i did, because i got fucking twisted. Everyone I saw yesterday told me i was really fun. I dunno if that's good or not. At least i didnt have a shameover, and a bunch of phone calls to make. That's never fun for anyone.
I kind of feel like getting tattooed today. Maybe I will. I certainly don't have anything better to do.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Another wasted night
I'm pretty glad i can wake up at 11:30 without an alarm clock anymore. It gets me up early, for me, and I can try to get things done before i go to work in the evening. It's pretty dece.
Last night was another night filled with fireworks, photo shoots, drinking, drugs, loud music, and complete mania. I feel like this blog is turning into an endless series of stories about Chase, haha. I haven't seen that dude in awhile, since i've been on tour, and he's been out of town, or i've been so busy with work.Plus hanging out with him always turns into something interesting. After bartending happy hour, and making no money thanks to the non tipping dudes playing pool. As much as i did appreciate the fact that they had a lot to tell me about how the record industry works, even though they knew absolutely nothing about it, i coulda used a couple bucks for the drinks i served you. The attitude was kinda unnecessary, as well. Being a condescending prick to someone in the service industry never gets you anywhere broseph.
I wound up hanging out for awhile with megan at the bar, trying to make sure chase didn't do anything completely ridiculous like the night before. he was well behaved, minus throwing the cue ball from the pool table around the room. He lit off one firework in the bar, too, which was surprising, considering that he had somehow come into a big bag of new ones. Either way, it made my life slightly easier. It could also have been the alcohol keeping me less aggravated.
I think some friends are coming into town this weekend. That makes me happy. I'm hoping i can get one of my shifts covered, so i can have a weekend night off for a change. Unfortunately, i doubt it will happen. Hopefully Jess gets here early, and we can go out to eat or something before i go to work tonight.
Soundtrack for the day: The Nice Boys, The Vicious, The Misfits
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Nas.
Good job dude. I guess after hearing the entire world shit talking you, and finding out everyone was gonna try to screw Universal, and sell off their stock, you made the right decision.
Money makes the world go round.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
I heard through the grapevine...
that NAS is calling his new album "Nigger".
Way to be edgy, you dipshit.
For all the publicity you're gonna get, i'm positive you are just gonna make yourself out to be more of an idiot than you actually are.
Congrats, dickweed!
the next day...
wow, i kind of forgot that i even posted that last night. i figured i'd do an obligatory intro post, but that really kind of sums up a lot of what happens to me on a regular basis. not so much the overweight girls, but the weird situations.
im amazed that me and chase did not wind up in the hospital, or jail last night. well maybe chase did, but as i'm sitting in my bed typing this, i'm confident in saying i didn't.
3 things that are awesome and shouldnt be mixed together:
1. drinking for 10 hours
2. hot girls
3. fireworks
apparently after i left, chase and the gang kept going. hopefully everyone still has their hands.
Monday, May 19, 2008
irritating,
there's a lot of things that can get on one's nerves. i hung out with a friend tonight, that i hadn't seen in a while. sometimes you get roped into things, and that was certainly what happened to me tonight. there's a girl i've been seeing, and she is great. sometime you get put into a situation where you are the buffer. others, you are the bomb diver. tonight was the latter. i met people that i knew of, then were subject to others the i wish i'd never met. there is nothing worse than being borderline sexually harassed by a girl that is twice your size, with shitty tattoos.
i couldnt even believe the situations thrown onto me. it was some next level shit. i'm glad i have what i do. seriously. i wish i'd taken pictures, or video of the awkward "we have to be friends" conversation i got forced into.
jesus fuck, i'm glad i am in the situation i'm in.ugh, no amount of alcohol would make me take "that" home.
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